September 18, 2015

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How to Avoid Being with the Abuser or Batterer Person

 I received a call from a friend yesterday,  It's been a years not keeping in touch with her since she decide to stop working and become a full-time housewife to her husband.
 I thought it was a call to say hi and how are you now? long time no see can we meet for a dinner sometimes?  but I was shock to hear her crying voice on the other line, I ask her if what happen? she answered, with hesitation voice that she and her husband had a fight to end up Beating her. beating your wife or a partner is a very serious matter and that's what I am gonna concentrate in this articles.

   there a lots of studies around who attempt to explain why some men use violence against their partners. maybe Some of those studies include the following: alcohol dependency, drugs, economic hardship, family dysfunction, lack of spirituality, poor communication skills, provocation by women,stress and third-party.
for me, even if these factors are associated but not a causes for battering women,  still the violence of men against women will not come to an end. why? I think the abuser still using violence as an effective method for gaining and keeping his control over someone else.
below are the sign of batterer and abuser person. maybe there some of you are not satisfied with the result but consider it as a reference for your own beliefs,there are some characteristics that fit the profile of abusers and batterer man.
-the Batterer Person Has-

# an abuser or batterer - has low self-esteem. He feels powerless and ineffective. Although he may seem to be successful, inside he feels inadequate.

# an abuser or batterer - want to control a woman if its akin for independence.

# an abuser or batterer - finds external excuses for his behavior. He will blame his violence on having had a bad day, alcohol or drug use, his partner’s behavior or anything that comes to mind to excuse his violent actions.

# an abuser or batterer -  is Explaining violence as an expression of his deep love.

# an abuser or batterer - are Shifting blame for his actions and their effects to others, especially to woman, or to external factors such as job stress.(
# an abuser or batterer - was Seeing a woman as his property.

# an abuser/batterer - may display some warning signs such as: a bad temper, cruelty to animals, extreme jealousy, possessiveness, verbal abuse and/or unpredictability.(
# an abuser/batterer -  sees women as objects. He does not view women as people. He has no respect for women as a group. He sees women as property and sexual objects.

choose wisely a right person to be with.

March 18, 2013

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a fine single woman must have this in mind

"5 things you believe that every single woman should have? "when I ask this to some women friends and work colleagues Their answers were thought provoking, to say the least. They answer from branded lipstick,perfume,bags,travel and "financial security," revealing that personal values remain unique to every woman. However, there were some responses that seemed to be consistent throughout from my co-workers that I do working.

-A plan for the future-

Whether your goals are educational, occupational, or both - at the top of the "must have" chart is the need to have a plan for the future. While wandering aimlessly through life is a lot of fun, it will not pay the bills or secure your retirement. Developing a plan for the future is simple: decide what you want out of life and then do some research to find out what it takes to get there. If you'd like to run your own business one day, what kind of educational path should you take? What kind of job experience should you be acquiring in the mean time? If you'd like to put some money into your account to ensure a financially sound future - what investment strategies should you use? How much money should you put into savings each pay check? Although these questions aren't necessarily fun, you will be happy you addressed them when you have a solid foundation upon which to stand. A good group of girlfriends.(

I remember this code from the movie in hollywood said "No matter who breaks your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you'll never get through it without your friends." A good group of girlfriends is better than a whole gallon of beer or any brandy in the freezer. When times are good, you will have someone to share in your successes and celebrations. When times are bad, you will have someone to come over at 3 a.m and pull your head out of the oven. No woman is an island, not even you. Though your independence is impressive, we all need people to lean on when our resolve waivers.

-A solid sense of self-identity-

Self-identity is the source of self-confidence and self-respect. A woman who knows who she is and what she wants also knows what she deserves and refuses to settle for less. And why should you settle for less? You're fabulous! The ugly truth is: people will do whatever you let them get away with. So put a stop to it! Demand respect from others. Carry that confidence around with you like a huge blinking neon sign. Show the world you are proud of who you are, know what you want, and won't stop until you get it.

-Good health-

A single woman on the move has to be up for anything. You simply can't be ready at a moment's notice if you're laid up on the couch guzzling cough syrup. Take care of yourself. See a doctor regularly. Try to maintain a healthy lifestyle by eating the right foods and maintaining a regular exercise regimen. Take your vitamins. What happens if your boss decides that today is the day you're ready for your big promotion and you've called out sick? What if today is the day that the hottie in legal has worked up the nerve to ask you out, but you're lying in bed in a sea of used Kleenex? It's not cute, and definitely not productive! A n integral part of ensuring both a fulfilling future and the highest quality of life is to make the practice of health a priority.(

Ultimately, you can choose where your life will lead you. Strive for those things that will help you get to where you'd like to be in the next five or ten years. In a world that's constantly in motion, it's essential to think beyond next Saturday night - and the only person who can do that for you is you. Today's single woman is empowered and independent. So grab the bull by the horns, kick butt and take names, and most importantly, remember that we are all the masters of our own destiny no matter what our personal plan in the future.

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